Thoughts on Judaism

Monday, September 19, 2005

Dr. Seuss Goes Off the Deep End

I am Shmil
Shmil I am
I do not hold like Rabbi Pam

I do not eat the OU meat
I' never daven on Linden Street
I'd never go to Chayim's house
I'd not have Lazer's daughter for a spouse.

I love the Yidden who praise to G-d
I hate the folks that go to Chabad
I am not a Chasidic fool
I go to Rabbi Feinshtein's shul

I go to the mikveh for ablution.
I do not believe in evolution.
In fact, those kofrim make me nauseous
With our kanayim, they'd best be cautious.

Women exist only for giving birth
I believe the Sun goes 'round the Earth.
Cooking and cleaning is G-d's plan
For every good girl of a Jewish clan.
So while I learn, go make a meal
And bear strong sons for good ole Shmil

I hope the Reform all gag and choke.
I hope my land scams don't go broke.
I'd kill Sharon, not let him live
That goes for the Conservative.
And I wish a wasting pox
On all the Modern Orthodox

And the Shvartzes don't mean beans
They shoulda been in New Orleans
Most of all, I thank Hashem above
Who taught me truth, compassion and LOVE.

6 Comments:

  • That was hilarious.

    By Blogger Ezzie, at 9:06 PM  

  • Brilliant!

    LOL big time!

    By Anonymous Shmarya, at 2:22 AM  

  • "seuss" v'rachvo rama bayam!

    too funny!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 1:53 PM  

  • Excellent.Can you do more like that? I sent this on to everyone I know

    By Blogger Avi, at 3:04 PM  

  • Very clever, but also very sad, because too much of this rings true.

    By Anonymous JoeCool, at 8:56 PM  

  • shame on you for spreading lashon hara!

    By Blogger mazeartist, at 1:31 PM  

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