Thoughts on Judaism

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Acts of Random Stupidity

At Simchas Torah, there are often one or two casualties, due to acts of random stupidity. They usually involve:

1) Several adults jumping full force on tables not designed to bear their weight
2) A 15 year old emptying a quart of 80 proof
3) Performing the helicopter, secured only by the neck
4) Alcohol and testoterone mixing to form compound violence
5) Drunk teenage boys showing off for teenage girls
6) Reckless projecting of heavy objects and people without regard to environment or other people
7) Reckless projecting around people carrying small children on their shoulders
8) Recklessness amidst overcrowding
9) Attempts to remove holy books and artcles from a sea of oblivious stomping feet
10) Radical political and religious pronouncements made in a room full of drunk zealots
11) Attempts to begin a nigun without proper authority
12) Banging on a table with all one's might, without regard to possible effects on the bare hand
13) Obliviousness to the fact that alcoholic drink containers are made of glass
14) Obliviousness to the fact that liquids on a floor render the floor slippery
15) Oblviousness to the fact that suddenly laying down on the floor or performing sluggish acrobatics in the path of heavy foot traffic is rarely well advised

And thank G-d we do not drive on Yom Tov

10 Comments:

  • Hey, great website, I don't know how I didn't come across it sooner. Please do stop by my jewish reference website and let me know what you think.

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 10:05 PM  

  • LOL!

    You've captured Simkhat Torah exactly!

    By Anonymous Shmarya, at 8:28 AM  

  • Thank God until i hit college i had no idea that some people make Simhhas Torah look like Purim. Of course, when i found out it was a very traumatic experience, but i had those 18 years of blissful ignorance beforehand :-P .

    By Blogger Steg (dos iz nit der ┼íteg), at 3:25 PM  

  • www.mirreryeshiva.blogspot.com

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at 3:40 PM  

  • Mmmm, brings back memories! Not mine, unfortunately.

    Simches Toireh on my side of the planet is a rather tame affair. Resembles a tea-party more than anything else.

    By Blogger The back of the hill, at 10:50 PM  

  • Continued reading your site.

    Despite the fact that I am half-crazed with sleep deprivation, and twisted sideways from caffeine, I hooted.

    Will print out your quizes for my Torah student. It will give him lots to figgure out, me lots to explain. He's still in a state of near-shock over chicken whacking (shlugn kapores).

    By Blogger The back of the hill, at 11:10 PM  

  • Rebel: Yet another reason to celebrate Simchat Torah/Shmini Atzeret in Eretz Yisrael. Things don't get super-crazy-out-of-hand like it does in Ch'ul, because we need to be sober for Yizkor and tefillat geshem.

    By Blogger Jameel @ The Muqata, at 3:59 AM  

  • J@M
    They do Yizkor on the first day with no day haakafos and they do birkas cohanim in Shacharis of ST. Then they make kiddush BEFORE Hakafos. Musaf of ST though is though lost. Hopefully, it is batul b'miuto.

    BH
    Yes it seems everyone finishes their hakafos and then comes to Chabad where the party really starts. Chabad bachurim go around town to help with the hakafos for Alter shul yidden and then return for their own hakafos.

    By Blogger Rebeljew, at 6:36 AM  

  • Rebeljew; Huh? Losing Musaf on ST in ch'ul is only batul b'miuto?

    Why not get rid of musaf altogether every shabbat?

    Sorry - I'd rather not have a purimesque Simchat Torah.

    By Blogger Jameel @ The Muqata, at 6:51 AM  

  • J@M

    I agree with you. My point was just that they (Chabad) avoid the other issues by changing the order of the service. There is no way to move musaf though, so often the Kahal is drunk. The "batul b'miuto" was tongue in cheek.

    By Blogger Rebeljew, at 9:47 AM  

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