Thoughts on Judaism

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Rebel's dictionary II

A continuation

Emunas Chachamim - Faith that whatever is said by a particular sage who agrees with me is true

Emunas Tzadikim - Faith that agreement with me bestows on the person the level of a tzadik. It follows that a person with practices with which I disagree cannot be a tzadik.

Emunah - belief in the truth of the contents of certain books

Apikorsis - belief in the truth of the contents of certain books

Tzadik - 1) a saintly person to whom I look for inspiration. 2) Someone who has died recently. 3) A person who can perform magic.

Daas Toireh - Rationalization for not thinking independently

G-dliness - things I like or approve of.

Pure - not defiled by things I disapprove of.

Lakewood - NJ sister city to Kandahar, Afghanistan

Monsey - NY sister city to Lakewood, NJ

Christianity - a religion where adherents believe that, though the Messiah is dead, he continues to "live" and perform miracles. Many adherents believe that the Messiah is a god and bolster their opinion with spurious quoting of biblical verses. They believe that the only true path to G-d is through connection with their Messiah - god - savior. See Moshiachist and Elokist.

Moiser - Someone who reveals my criminal activity to the police. See RAT and DOITY RATFINK.

Tzedaka - Money given to a Jewish institution or Rabbi in exchange for respect

Poor people - People who must depend on Jewish institutions and Rabbis for basic needs and get no respect, and in some caes. (Hey, I just had an idea! Why don't we just cut out the ... Oh, never mind.)

Holiday Tree - a Christmas tree in a city with Jewish lawyers

Evolution - Only a theory, not a fact

Intelligent design - Neither a theory, nor a fact

Skepticism - Belief in the improbable but plausible situation that something of which someone wants to convince you may not be true

Carbon dating - a false art where science is used to confound Torah, based on silly principles (see Science) which, while they are observable repeatably in a laboratory, must be approached with the highest critical skepticism

Uranium dating - see carbon dating. Uranium dating is claimed to be valid to over 100,000 years, so it is silly and impossible. Feh!

4 element physics - Torah true science discussing the composition of all matter from air, water, fire, and earth, based on sound principles (see Medieval tradition) that the propogaters of silly principles (see Science) reject. Must be approached with minimum critical skepticism

Galgalim - Orbits of planets, moon and sun around the Earth, supposedly disproven by the silly principles (see Science), whose proponents claim to have sent spacecraft to these celestial bodies, based on their errant "scientific" calculations. Galgalim and Ptolemaic astronomy must be approached with minimum critical skepticism. Galgalim, mazalos and kochavim are not only spiritual and intelligent, but also a bit sensitive so don't say anything that might offend them.

Ptolemaic astronomy - A workable geocentric model of the universe that is Torah true, despite being neither workable nor geocentric

7 Comments:

  • Still not tackling the defintion of Gedolim, eh?

    By Anonymous DiffAnon, at 11:32 AM  

  • Gedolim - men whose sagacity is so potent that it exceeds the ability of physical reality to keep up with it

    By Blogger Rebeljew, at 12:03 PM  

  • This is such great stuff, I am ashamed that I did not think of it first. Keep it coming! - JF

    By Blogger The Jewish Freak, at 1:04 PM  

  • LOL! I'd be laughing even harder if it wasn't all so true …

    By Anonymous Shmarya, at 8:31 AM  

  • here is a quote you may have seen on the four elements...The intent of "elements" is not meant to imply that these cannot be further
    divided and broken down. Rather, these are the "elemental" parts of which
    everything is comprised. This has nothing to do with the number of elements
    discussed in chemistry. There are some of the ancient commentators (Ruach
    Chen, 7, by Rabbi Yehuda ibn Tibun) who wrote that the Sages' intent was
    with regard to the characteristics of these elements: cold and wet, hot and
    dry, etc. This is why in the Midrash they are called "four natures."
    The Rebbe wrote that around the turn of the century, "the existence of 96
    elements was something that was "concluded" by science. Nowadays, however,
    it is agreed that each one of them is comprised of several parts. Moreover
    even the number of types of parts is not yet known at all. Some scientists
    believe that there are actually fourelements: Matter, Antimatter, Positive,
    and Negative." (Igrot Kodesh, vol. 19, p. 239.)

    By Blogger Mehallel, at 9:03 PM  

  • MM
    These apologetics are well known. The reason that the sages believed in the four element world is that the rest of the world believed in it. If you feel that some deep secrets of kabalah are hidden in them, then how did the nonJewish world gain access to them, when they are supposed to be so secret that only select Jewish sages may know them. This also disposes of the sophistic "our sages told it to their scientists" line.

    The last line of your comment just ain't so. Matter and antimatter are not elemental. Nonetheless, the word element is not the issue. The sages use Yesodos, "foundations", not elements. One might say they refer to matter states (solid, fluid solid, liquid, gas). One might say they refer to atomic particles (electrons, protons, neutrons and free radicals). One might invoke string theory. One might say almost anything, but how did the non-Jewish world know this, and why did they act for all the world as if they thought that the four elements that they named composed everything, much as the Rambam describes in Yesodei HaTorah ch 4?

    I'm going to go out on a limb and say that the sages had no special knowledge of the science of the universe, and that they paskined laws based on contemporary scientific theories. Nor do they today.

    I am also going out ona limb to say that the Lubavitcher Rebbe was a great thinker, but a poor apologist, and he did not want to get involved in apologetics at all.

    By Blogger Rebeljew, at 8:14 AM  

  • The Rambam offers proof of the 4 elements by example. He says that if one burns wood, there is fire, and afterwards there remains dust. Thus, it is composed of fire and dust. How does such a proof work in light of the fact that the sages were talking about matter states or string theory?

    By Blogger Rebeljew, at 8:23 AM  

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