Rebel's dictionary II
Emunas Chachamim - Faith that whatever is said by a particular sage who agrees with me is true
Emunas Tzadikim - Faith that agreement with me bestows on the person the level of a tzadik. It follows that a person with practices with which I disagree cannot be a tzadik.
Emunah - belief in the truth of the contents of certain books
Apikorsis - belief in the truth of the contents of certain books
Tzadik - 1) a saintly person to whom I look for inspiration. 2) Someone who has died recently. 3) A person who can perform magic.
Daas Toireh - Rationalization for not thinking independently
G-dliness - things I like or approve of.
Pure - not defiled by things I disapprove of.
Lakewood - NJ sister city to Kandahar, Afghanistan
Monsey - NY sister city to Lakewood, NJ
Christianity - a religion where adherents believe that, though the Messiah is dead, he continues to "live" and perform miracles. Many adherents believe that the Messiah is a god and bolster their opinion with spurious quoting of biblical verses. They believe that the only true path to G-d is through connection with their Messiah - god - savior. See Moshiachist and Elokist.
Moiser - Someone who reveals my criminal activity to the police. See RAT and DOITY RATFINK.
Tzedaka - Money given to a Jewish institution or Rabbi in exchange for respect
Poor people - People who must depend on Jewish institutions and Rabbis for basic needs and get no respect, and in some caes. (Hey, I just had an idea! Why don't we just cut out the ... Oh, never mind.)
Holiday Tree - a Christmas tree in a city with Jewish lawyers
Evolution - Only a theory, not a fact
Intelligent design - Neither a theory, nor a fact
Skepticism - Belief in the improbable but plausible situation that something of which someone wants to convince you may not be true
Carbon dating - a false art where science is used to confound Torah, based on silly principles (see Science) which, while they are observable repeatably in a laboratory, must be approached with the highest critical skepticism
Uranium dating - see carbon dating. Uranium dating is claimed to be valid to over 100,000 years, so it is silly and impossible. Feh!
4 element physics - Torah true science discussing the composition of all matter from air, water, fire, and earth, based on sound principles (see Medieval tradition) that the propogaters of silly principles (see Science) reject. Must be approached with minimum critical skepticism
Galgalim - Orbits of planets, moon and sun around the Earth, supposedly disproven by the silly principles (see Science), whose proponents claim to have sent spacecraft to these celestial bodies, based on their errant "scientific" calculations. Galgalim and Ptolemaic astronomy must be approached with minimum critical skepticism. Galgalim, mazalos and kochavim are not only spiritual and intelligent, but also a bit sensitive so don't say anything that might offend them.
Ptolemaic astronomy - A workable geocentric model of the universe that is Torah true, despite being neither workable nor geocentric